5 years in the blink of an eye

Last week was the fifth anniversary of John's death.  It is so incredible to realize that it has been 5 years.  It feels like my whole life is so different now.  Sometimes it feels like that was another person's life completely.  I know that I have changed a great deal since his death - I needed to, I had no other choice.  After dealing with all the crap surrounding his death, and being thrust into the leadership role of the family - I also found out that I was not leader of my own life.  I made a few mistakes, but I think I really am becoming the person I was meant to be.  I love the crazy hippy side that is expressing itself now ( the piercing, tatoos and the willingness to go and have fun)  Peter also helps with that because he encourages me to be free to enjoy myself and he doesn't expect me to be any certain way, he just accepts who I am at any given moment.  How lucky am I that I have someone who loves me for exactly who I am.  Its weird, most people would have looked at John and I and said we were happy, but anyone can see how happy Peter makes me and people notice it all the time.