Ugghh Not Again

 I haven't whined about Menopause for a while now; I have quietly and graciously accepted the night sweats, the long weird hairs growing on my chin, the weight gain, the indigestion, all of the various abuse heaped on women during menopause, but I do have to admit I was fervently hoping that along with all those glorious side effects I would also finally be graced with an end to my monthly period.  It seemed like an unfair trade-off, but at least it was a trade-off…but I was wrong.  This week I was reintroduced to my monthly visit from the cranky, irritable, bloated and all around yucky feeling that comes along with a visit from my ‘Aunt Flo’. 

The ONE benefit of menopause is that your period finally stops.  I had such high hopes – I had gone almost seven months without a period!  I thought I had finally made it to the Promised Land, only to have my hopes dashed. I wish I had this Uterus piñata so I could take my frustrations out on it and beat the crap out of it.

My mean spirited uterus just won’t quit.  My hubby says that because I am such a fierce Mom, my estrogen is just tougher and more plentiful than other people.  I wish there was some way to tell my uterus to knock it off already, that it's time for my uterus to retire, but it seems my uterus isn't willing to just ride off peacefully into the sunset.  So now I face all the struggles of getting older along with my stupid old period.  I should have known better, after all drug stores put sanitary napkins right next to depends pads - they must know that aging is a gradual and frustrating process.  Yes, in nature’s cruel irony, I have the pleasure of dealing with gray hair and oily skin on the same day and it’s not fair. I know there are worse problems in the world, but I really, really, really want to be done with this by now.  I doubt I even have any eggs left, and the crazy spring inside my fallopian tubes are blocking those eggs from coming down anyway.  Hopefully one of these day my uterus will get the message.