Fear, panic & facing an uncertain future

I have struggled to put these thoughts into words. Not only have I suffered from anxiety and brain fatigue, but like so many others my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride of epic proportions for the past two months.  

The Coronavirus has affected all of us, and it is unlike anything we have faced before. It has stripped the layer of protection that so many of us felt we had in our lives. No one, rich or poor, old or young, urban or rural, is safe from this tiny enemy and we have all had to deal with our fear, grief and anger in different ways. 

I recall a story that I read, and I wanted to share it here:

The story goes like this:
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up.  She was tired of fighting and struggling.  It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen.  She filled three pots with water.  In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil without saying a word.  In about twenty minute she turned off the burners.  She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.  She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.  Then she ladled the coffee into a bowl.  Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see?”

“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots.  She did and noted that they were soft.  She then asked her to take an egg and break it.  After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.  Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee.  The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, “What’s the point, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity… boiling water – but each reacted differently.  The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting.  However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.  The egg had been fragile.  Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior.  But, after being through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.  The ground coffee beans were unique, however.  After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked the daughter.  “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?  Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

Think of this:  Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?  Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a break up, a financial hardship, or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?  Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean?  The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.  When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.  If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

How do you handle adversity?

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

(https://www.alanwongs.com/blog/are-you-carrot-egg-or-coffee-bean)

As I think about this virus, I am again struck by the wisdom in that story. We all have different ways of reacting to this pandemic.  

I have to remind myself almost daily how very fortunate I am. I am still employed and I am able to work from home. My husband is working part of the time from home, but he does have to go in to work, and that means he has to go into hospitals, which is a frightening thought during this pandemic. We have been careful. We have groceries delivered when we can. We have stayed home, except for a few rare excursions where we did not even get out of the car near any other people. We have masks that we use for any needed shopping or errands. 

We are taking this virus very seriously, not out of fear, but out of respect. My 91 year old father absolutely would not survive if he were to get coronavirus. My daughter has asthma so I am worried about her health if she were to get the virus. I don’t want to unknowingly spread this virus to anyone. 

It is frustrating to not be able to go see my Dad or make plans to go and see my daughter and grandchildren in Tennessee. I am sad, but I am more than willing to put up with these inconveniences if it means that my loved ones are healthy and safe. 

I am a history geek. I love learning about history. Right now my knowledge of history is helping to give me hope. Our country has faced great struggles in the past and we have gotten through them. This virus threat will pass, we will find effective treatments and hopefully a vaccine, and when we do I know we will be able to see and hug our loved ones without fear of anyone getting sick. I also know that this virus has the ability to teach us something very important about ourselves and our personalities. Like the carrot, the egg and the coffee beans, we all will have the chance to let this experience weaken us, harden our hearts, or we can grow through this experience. We can become kinder, more caring, and more aware of the importance of our relationships; we can change and become better people.