In the blink of an eye

We all have defining moments in our lives; those moments that separate our life from before and after. For Americans, one of our collective defining moments was September 11^th.  We can all see how that one moment separated our country from before and after.  As individuals we also have powerful moments in our lives; births, deaths, marriages, divorces, graduations, etc.

Today is the tenth anniversary of one of my defining moments. Ten years ago today my husband took his own life and in an instant I became a widow and a single parent.  Looking back now those ten years feel like they passed in the blink of an eye, but at the time each and every minute of the day stretched ahead of me like an endless marathon.

Realizing that today marks ten years, I was struck by how much my life has changed, and how different my life is today.

Before -    I was naïve and although I knew that bad things could happen, I simply assumed they would happen to someone else.

Before -    My life was organized, orderly and well planned.  I knew exactly where I belonged and what my future would hold.

Before -    I was so busy worrying and focusing on small things that didn’t really matter, but they felt so big at the time.

Going through an experience like that has a way of readjusting your priorities. I am no longer naïve, I know that the people I see on the news facing some horrific situation never expected to be there either.  I realize that despite my best laid plans; I have no idea how my life will turn out.  Most of all I know that there are some things that really matter, like your relationship with your loved ones, and there are some things that don’t really matter at all.  Ten years may have passed in the blink of an eye, but it was a long road getting here.