Time to take a Social Media Holiday

I was driving in my car the other day and I happened to see a family taking a walk.  It was a lovely day; unfortunately this family did not seem to appreciate the beautiful Arizona weather, as each member of the family was looking down at their cell phones.  Mom and dad and even what I assumed was Grandma were missing out on any human contact, completely engrossed in their cell phones.  The only one who seemed to be enjoying the walk was a small child sitting in a stroller.  This need to be so connected, at all times, completely overshadowed what could have been a lovely experience together as a family. 

Every once in a while I think we all need to take a social media holiday.  Just a day to unplug from the world around us; we need to unplug from world events, from war, terrorism, political rants, and from people who over share. 

Social media can be a fun and positive tool to connect with others, but is can also interfere with healthy relationships and experiences. 

We have all experienced a situation where someone completely missed out on a special moment because they had their nose buried in their phone.  At ball games, concerts, parties, you name it…people are so focused on their phones that they miss out on experiences and opportunities around them. 

Social media can also become problematic for some people.  It’s easy to become sucked in to the negativity that can pervade Facebook and Twitter.  Especially now, during an election year, the posts and comments can get extreme.  Watching people hurl vicious insults at each other can be very disheartening.  I care deeply about the future of this country, and I believe it is every citizen’s responsibility to be an active and informed participant in our democracy, but not at the cost of our own sanity.  Sometimes we just need to take a break and tune out all of the ugliness. 

Even personal relationships can benefit from an occasional social media holiday.  We all know someone who has a tendency to ‘over share’ and this happens on social media as well.  Being able to take a break and steer clear of any drama is not only a wise choice, but it is also healthy. 

Turn off your phone and take a walk.  Play a game or have a face-to-face conversation, instead of sitting around surfing Facebook.  Make memories without posting them for all to see.  We all need some balance in our lives, and taking a social media holiday once in awhile is a great way to achieve that. 

Tax Time Again - but for me that means good news

It’s that time of year again, when everyone digs through piles of crumpled receipts and tries to make some semblance of organization out of the chaos.  Yes my friends, it is tax time and while I do understand that preparing taxes for most people is about as much fun as a root canal, there was one small bright spot for me this year.  Between all the sorting and adding, I took a minute to appreciate the fact that once again this year I will have to claim income as an author.  Yes, I am actually happy that I have to pay taxes on my book royalties, because that means that once again I HAD book royalties. 

I do have to admit it is not an incredibly large amount, but as my wonderful husband/biggest cheerleader reminded me, I have earned income because people paid money to read my words and ideas.  This really is something to celebrate. 

Although I am not yet making enough with writing to give up my current teaching job, I am hopeful that my royalty income will continue to grow.  With two books and one short story so far, I have seen consistent sales each month.  I am continuing to use social media to market my books with fairly good success.  Looking at my total yearly revenue gives me inspiration to keep working on my new projects.  I don’t really mind paying my fair share of tax and hopefully next year I will have to pay even more taxes – for a really great reason. 

Cheers to all the amazing step-dads out there

When I met my husband, he never imagined how much his life would change.  After almost 50 years of living without children, he became a step-dad.  My husband has an amazing capacity to love and I have enjoyed watching the relationship that developed between my daughters and Peter.  He never pushed or forced the issue, he simply accepted them both and showed them that he cared.  I have often been amazed at how much he genuinely cares about the girls.  He has never once complained, or even hesitated in supporting the girls.  Paying for school and a wedding.  Fixing cars and helping to remodel houses.  Including the girls on vacations, even bringing them along on our luxurious trip to Antigua where we got married.  My daughters and I agree, Peter is a wonderful step-dad. 

There are so many fabulous step-dads out there.  It is a big responsibility to enter a child’s life.  I am so proud to know so many amazing men who have stepped up to do just that.  My brother is an incredible step-dad.  He loved his two step-sons through some serious struggles and challenges in their teen years, and as adults they are closer than ever. 

My friend Tracey is another step-dad whom I admire.  Tracey is such a kind warm-hearted person, and he patiently and lovingly supports his wife and stepchildren despite the fact that he often has to see their father at school or sports functions.  He is so careful to not speak badly about their father, he simply sits there supporting his kids and cheering them on. 

All of these men, and so many others are heroes in my opinion.  They have made a decision to be part of someone’s life not out of duty but out of love.  They could choose to sit on the sidelines, but instead they step up and choose to become actively involved in the lives of their stepchildren.  I am sure it isn’t always easy.  They often walk a tightrope between trying to do the right thing, and not over-stepping. 

I know each situation is unique, but I am so very grateful for the way my husband patiently developed his relationship with my girls.  He showed them how much he cared, and he never once complained.  

Empty Nest – Bring it on!

My husband is having a harder time with empty nest than I am, which is very funny considering the fact that he only recently became a Dad.  When I married my husband I had two teenage daughters, one in college already and the other still in high school.  As with most kids of their generation, they became boomerang kids – repeatedly moving in and out of the house several times.  My husband has been an amazing step-dad to the girls and he loves spending time with them. 

Now I will agree that the kids do bring a lot more energy into the house.  When they come to visit, and their friends stop by to ‘hang out,’ it is fun.  My daughters are wonderful and their friends are really great kids, so we joke, we laugh, we play games or watch movies, and I honestly do enjoy every minute, but I also enjoy our nice relaxed, quiet moments too.

I know that many women complain about their empty nest and the loneliness they feel once their children have moved out, but I am not one of those women.  Don’t get me wrong – I loved every single minute when my kids were younger.  Tea parties and Barbie dolls, snuggling in bed reading a book together, even driving every night to swim practice or girl scouts or whatever activity they were in at the moment; I loved it all.  My children were the center of my world, but I am also enjoying the new adult relationship that I have with my daughters.  Maybe it’s the fact that I had more time with them when they were younger, but I am enjoying our empty nest.  Midlife is becoming more about me, and what I want in life. 

There are other benefits to an empty nest.  I am surprised at how much money we are saving on our water and utility bills, not to mention a lot less money spent on groceries.  I have never been very good at cooking and cleaning, but I forced myself to keep the house clean, and I made sure to feed my children.  Now, I am much more relaxed about household duties.  I share the cooking and cleaning duties with my husband, and on nights when he works late, or if we are both too tired to care about cooking, we simply go out to eat or I make do with a plate a cheese and crackers as my dinner.  Getting rid of that Mommy-guilt is very freeing. 

My daughters are busy creating their own lives, but we still talk, text or visit often.  It is not the same as when they were younger, but rather than lament this new change in my life, I am embracing all the new opportunities that it offers.