Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The Trouble with Ta-Ta’s

Q: What did one boob say to the other boob?
A: You’re my breast friend.

I have been having lots of shoulder pain lately, which is not surprising considering that my breasts are enormous.  Yup – they are DD cups.  I went to the doctor to complain about my shoulder & she said it was inflamed bursa – whoa, wait just a minute….Am I an old lady with bursitis?  I think it comes from my bra strap digging into my shoulder.  Having large breasts is not always very fun.

I have never understood why someone would ever want to get breast augmentation. I guess it will always be one of those ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ kind of arguments – but I cannot figure out why on earth someone would consider paying for larger breasts.

I think breasts are somewhat annoying & they always seem to get in the way.  There are so many things that are harder with large breasts. 

·         Having a mammogram is uncomfortable for any woman, but when you have very large breasts – mammograms can be downright torture.  Squishing your breasts as flat as a pancake is quite a task for DD cups.
·         Large breasts make any form of jogging or running into a great challenge, often requiring extra support – even using more than one bra to double up the support.

·         Clothes shopping can be a challenge, many clothing styles do not work with large breasts. Summer time is not halter weather for women with very large breasts.  Braless is not an option. 
·         Going through menopause and hot flashes, breasts are now a new and uncomfortable place to collect sweat. 
·         Bras are not cheap, and sturdy support bras rarely come in cute styles and patterns.  Finding a swimsuit that supports well is nearly an impossible task.

Breasts are intended to feed our babies and it can be a wonderful experience for Mom and baby, but it can also be a source of great stress when things don’t go well.  There is a reason men don’t nurse their children; sore nipples, engorged breasts and babies getting teeth are all struggles that only breast-feeding moms can truly appreciate.  Even when breasts are used for their intended purpose, it is hard not to feel like a farm animal sometimes – particularly if you are trying to use those awkward breast pumps to store some milk for later. 
Life as a large breasted woman isn’t always easy and since I am stuck with these rather large ta-tas, I guess I just have to deal with it. 

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